Any regrets in life? Written by a palliative care worker

I received this via email from P2P who claimed she is an intuitive and sensitive Aquarian and compelled me to share this online. :)

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Five Regrets of the Dying
By Bronnie Ware, Platinum Quality Author

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

My tough daughter, Charmaine.... I love you!!!

An awful accident happened to my daughter. She was "attacked" by our pet (a very big dog). Actually not to say being attacked. I think the dog would like to play with my daughter. Anyway, in the end, my daughter was scratched pretty badly. I think she had undergone stitches up to more than 10 stitches. Can't imagine her crying during that time. My wife was crying when seeing my darling princess being stitched by the plastic surgeon.

My mother in law felt so guilty coz she blamed herself saying probably she did not fasten the front gate properly and thus my daughter who liked to stand near the gate might happen to push the door open. Upon seeing the gate open, I believed the dog came into the house and tried to play with my daughter. But alas.... dog is not as smart as human. The dog would not know that by putting its paw on my daughter would hurt her. :(

So the below was the photo after she underwent all the stitches during the first night.


And the photo below was the forth day when I went back from SG. We brought her for follow up to see whether there was any infection or not after the stitches. Thank God that there wasn't infections and my daughter was fit as a fiddle on second day onwards. You can see she was laughing and playing happily with me as if she was not injured at all. ~.~


I was so proud of her. During those days when I was at home with her, she never cried over the pain. She is very active already. She can climb here and there. Run here and there and full of laughter.

So she is my family sparkle jewel, my tough daughter. ^_^

Unintended purchase

Just back from IT show again. Thought of just go there to windows shopping, but alas.... I ended up buying a-Jays earpiece. It's very attractive and its sounds quite good. I never indulge myself with a good earpiece. Thus, as a spur of urge, I dug my pocket and paid for it. hahaha.....

Hopefully this is a good buy. There are 3 different of prices for a-Jay 1 until a-Jay 3. Of course I bought the cheapest as I ain't sound expert. Need not to buy that expensive yet.

It comes with various of sizes of earpiece. Surprising there is a manual. ^.^

This is the notebook backpack that I bought on previous IT shows. I think few months ago. I bought this for SGD49 if I remembered correctly. I saw this same bag again during current IT show. Same size, same color same design. So shocked to see its price at SGD70 now.
Bag also can naik harga wan??? ><

GSS 2010

GSS stands for Great Singapore Sales. The Sales has come back. Actually it is an annual affair just like the Malaysia Mega Sales. ~.^

Everybody has started to do shopping, and I have done my part too. This are the things I bought. Hahaha.....


This is only the start.... however, I was wondering what else I wanna buy.
Errr....
A brand new notebook
Probably PS3, but wait... if buy PS3... I have to buy Flat LCD TV as well. (arrghhh... just forget this)
or probably just PSP ^.^
a DSLR camera?? hmm... this is really have to ponder hard.
an iphone Dock so that I can enjoy the music from my iphone at louder decibels.
hmmmmm............. what else....
new clothes... yeah... definitely need it since I have grown in size
jogging shoes...
new jogging attires...
new badminton shoes....

woo hooo.... seemed a lot of things. ;)

Facebook problem

Like I mentioned, I faced problem with browser. As you can see below.... the screen becomes hay-wired. Thus I can't properly log in to FB. For now... I will checking my messages via my iphone only. :(


Anyone has solultion? Please let me know. Thanks ya